No header image today, as it’s totally undeserved.
Here’s a story about game design, marketing, management, and all other things related.
So there I am, same time last week. A friend of mine pops in, “yo, there’s spore on the intratubes”. Not like I stray from the tubes when it comes to software, but Spore always seemed as something grand, a creation worth of years of developement, and best people in the industry bending their minds around to make it work. So I said - “no, thanks, I’m picking up the legit copy on Friday, hell, I might actually get a collectioner’s edition while I’m at it”. “Lol ur dumb” was the reply. Little did I know how much truth it held.
My problem started at the local “big” retailer, when their call center couldn’t figure out if they will actually have the game on site and on time. Next day I just went to the local “big” store, and they had exactly one copy of Spore, and one of Spore GE. I picked the collectioner’s, I love artbooks and “making of”. Kind of a work thing, really. And I paid almost twice the price of “The Witcher” , and more than a half more than BF2142 was worth on launch day. But hey, “industry” hotshots like me can afford that.
So I went home with the nicely heavy box. Apparently fully localized in Polish. Unpacked the thing. The poster they have promised turned out to be an A4 sheet of generic spore art on a mediocre glossy paper. It had white lines when unfolded for the first time. Yay. Then I pop in the DVD, and start installing. Since EA figured out it would be awesome to install some support crap no one ever reads, in a million of files, in all languages on earth, on a DVD with seek speed of 1sec per file, it took some 20 minutes to install that, and the 4gb of data files were copied within the next 2 minutes. Woo.
Since it took so long, I actually had the time to go through the artbook. And.. oh my. The first thing I’ve noticed, was that there’s a lot of misspelled texts in Polish localization in the artbook, sometimes the synopsis text is cut in the middle without continuation. Sometimes some art is missing. And the art itself.. well.. let me tell you, it’s nowhere near what I’ve seen in WOW / TBC artbooks. In fact, majority of the spore “artbook” consists of game screenshots and some maya renders. There are some sketches there, but since the book is in a B5 format, you need a sodding hubble telescope to view those. And there’s not a lot of those either. Dissapointed, totally. There are some DVDs with the thing too, they’re actually pretty nice quality and there’s some interesting material on evolution, so it’s not all wasted.
Now the game. Thankfully it installed and launched ok. From what I’ve seen on the support forums, it’s not to be taken for granted. I’m trying to register with my EA account, which I had to establish for my Battlefield games. “Key not recognized”. Well duh, at least it installed. Let’s skip it and play the thing.
I spend the next 5 or so hours, evolving my Tauren wannabe creatures from a single cell, to a race of space faring, and clubbering cow-men. Cool. A mix of many games, sometimes funny, sometimes challenging. The editors are pretty nice. The graphics.. well, I was promised procedural textures and other fancy stuff, and here I’m looking at some mid-LOD textures while zoomed in close. The pixels, they burn, especially when played on my 40″ panel. But then I look at the box, and it’s a MAC/PC dualboot DvD. I guess they picked up the lowest common denominator for the graphics, thanks Steve, thanks a lot for your overpriced and underpowered MacBooks, you did us a great favor here.
After advancing to the space stage, getting some achievements, and getting bored playing “Frontier:Elite Lite” (not like it’s a bad thing in itself) I figured it’s a good time to get into what was supposed to be the biggest thing in Spore.
USER GENERATED CONTENT
Oh yeah, I can’t wait to download penis monsters and nigger-creatures straight from 4chan’s /b/. I also made some stuff of my own, so people can enjoy my shoddy AT-AT and Slivers.
I’m not registered though. Blimey! Let’s do that again.
“The key used with this game cannot be validated.”
Alright, I’ll make a new EA account and go from there.
“The key used with this game cannot be validated.”
Good it actually let me install and play this game. Let’s hope to google and see what I can find. Uh-huh, EA europe support forums. Whoosh. Now, that’s a lot of angry posts for a game that’s supposed to be THE major title for EA this year. Now that I think of it, this forum is actually like Spore was supposed to be. A load of user generated content, but it’s filled with problems, not creatures. All kinds of colors, users, problems. Circus! Apparently there’s a bunch of people with the same problem as me. I try all the “workarounds” generated by people. It doesn’t work. Oh well, it’s friday, and it’s the launch day. I’m getting some sleep.
The weekend passes with no word from EA, only with more and more ranting from the users. Then monday, then tuesday. The EA guy who was active on the forums on friday is nowhere to be found, after he must’ve noticed that the fans hit the shitpile.
So here I am, with the game which was supposed to be vastly populated by user content. And I can’t activate it. There’s no word from EA, there’s DRM written all over the place, nothing is improving, and I paid twice the price of a normal PC game for it. Did I mention you can basically install it only three times? And you need a working connection to activate it? And you can have only one user per one copy? No? Now I did. And a lot of “family” users are not very happy about it.
This kinda brings me to the point, after a very long rant. Namely, why in the god’s name would I buy legit games again, especially from EA? I mean, seriously? The problems with Mass Effect were only the tip of the iceberg you can get with spore. There’s no support, there are draconian safety measures, and it hurts ONLY the paying customers. Christ. I could’ve gotten the game two days early, for free, with DRM removed, and have the EXACT functionality I have now. Not to mention that I wouldn’t have to witness the horrible editing abomination the “artbook” is. All that on top of another EA fiasco, which is Warhammer Online european beta, which apparently can’t get its servers and auth systems up either. Maybe EA needs some manager with an E-Viagra pump to get those floppies going?
I know it’s gonna sound awkward from an ex-Blizz employee, but if all games had support and service quality like World of Warcraft, the userbase of online and other services would double pretty fast.
How can you launch a multimillion dollar franchise such as spore, with so much marketing and effort put into it, and forget to test the performance of the key feature on the CORE platform is just beyond me. There’s just no justification. Why doesn’t EA have its own servers colocated around the world for the services? Why don’t they have COMMUNITY staff to keep people informed and get the feedback up into the organisation? It’s hilarious how the biggest (well, maybe not anymore, high five Acti-Blizzard!) game publisher can be so totally incompetent when it comes to support, maintenance and roll-out of their prime games.
Maybe I should just hire myself there and tell people to test stuff before it’s deployed, and tell them to do contingency planning because the worst WILL happen, and most likely it has already happened but we do not know about it yet.
There’s Crysis:Warhead around the corner, and I’m not sure whether I should pick it up or download it. And no, by download I don’t mean EA Store..









